Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
