I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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