i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
True strength comes from lack of pants
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
