no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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