I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
