Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Drake has all the answers
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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