you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
