K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
