I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
