the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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