dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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