i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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