so that wasnt chicken after all
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
