Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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