Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
