Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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