so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
