i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
