can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
