its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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