That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
