i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
