Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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