She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
