woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
