Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
