obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
