oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
