I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
