I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
