Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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