i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
