ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
