It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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