it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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