after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
