how can u be prego again
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
