is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you win again, gameday.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
