Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
