i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
True strength comes from lack of pants
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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