honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
