I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
