Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
