you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
