I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
