you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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