somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Randomize
