After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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