So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
