Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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