you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
