Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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