Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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