coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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